Good evening, it's 85:117 Manchester United meridian time. This is the world news.
Twelve Saudi bombers raided a Mosque in Myanmar, leading to the
subsequent sequestration and restraining of a small band of Israeli
outlaws.
In Australia, Chinamen have discovered the moon. Onlookers
had this to say: 'I didn't know the moon existed. Until now,
that is.'
Sixteen
middle-aged slightly aggregatory Frenchmen organized a yachtsman's strike at the partridge extinction factory in Chartres. 'We just wanted some free candles' said
a spokesman from the group.
Britain's
newest romantic drama telecomedy All My Wives opened
to a fantastically catastrophic failure. There were no survivors. I
eat leprechauns.
Everyone
in Ethiopia is as dumb as an antelope.
Burma
is a shit hole. I've been there.
The
Queen mum buries her feces in a hole in her backyard, beneath a
discarded wastebasket.
Last night the pirates in my backyard encroached a little further towards my kid's rocking horse. I can see them from my window.
Well
that's all very nice to hear, Mrs. Golyadkin. Thank you for the timely update
on world affairs.
Now constantly try to show everyone how smart you are.